Confrontation develops intimacy, it allows total truth between two people

 

Proverbs 10:10(MSG)

An evasive eye is a sign of trouble ahead,

but an open, face-to-face meeting results in peace.

 

Natural Reaction in confontation is to back out… only way to grow closer is to push forward

Truth+Tact+Timing=Transformation

 

1. Check your Motives

         Why do I need to talk about this?

         What is the right motive? To Help

         2 Corinthians 12:19(NIV)

Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? We have been speaking in the sight of God as those in Christ; and everything we do, dear friends, is for your strengthening.

 

2. Plan your Presentation

         Proverbs 16:23(AMP)

The mind of the wise instructs his mouth, and adds learning and persuasiveness to his lips.

 

         Never Persuasive when you are abrasive

         2 Corinthians 2:4 (AMP)

For I wrote you out of great sorrow and deep distress [with mental torture and anxiety] of heart, [yes, and] with many tears, not to cause you pain but in order to make you realize the overflowing love that I continue increasingly to have for you.        

        

Plan What, Proverbs 25:11 (AMP)

A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

 

Plan, when(both at your best/privacy)

 

Introduction and illustrations, Proverbs 12:18 (AMP), 15:1 (MSG)

There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

 

A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.

 

3. Give them Affirmation

         Proverbs 12:25 (MSG)

Worry weighs us down; 
   

a cheerful word picks us up.

 

         Sandwich the truth with affirmation

 

4. Risk their Rejection

         2 Corinthians 7:8-9 (MSG)

I know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don’t feel at all bad now that I see how it turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while. Now I’m glad—not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss.

 

When you speak the truth in love, your stomach keeps score… slowly killing the relationship.

 

 

Who do you need to have an honest conversation with…