In my decades of work in the philanthropic and nonprofit world, I’ve met many folks who are frustrated with the process or disappointed with the results of their giving. These people end up reining in their generous urges.
Step 2 is to claim your Generosity Gaps. I’ve identified three Generosity Gaps that I described in the Generosity Checkup:
- The Action Gap: It’s not the right time.
- The Accumulation Gap: I don’t have enough.
- The Gratification Gap: I might be making a difference, but I’m not seeing lasting change.
I am highly motivated to call out these Generosity Gaps, which can seem as vast and impassable as the Grand Canyon, so that together we can bridge them and cross over to an exciting new realm of transformational generosity.
Step 2: Claim Your Generosity Gaps
When we are in the Generosity Gaps, we are usually practicing transactional giving, which is characterized by a dynamic of quid pro quo. I do something for you, and I expect something in return. Here’s how the giver may feel:
- Detached: “I don’t know precisely how this gift will be used, but giving it seems like the right thing to do.”
- Resigned: “I suppose I have no choice but to make this gift, since I’m an alumnus and I want to remain involved.”
- Calculating: “If I give this, maybe I can influence the organization’s priorities.”
In contrast, transformational generosity starts with relationship. Before anything is exchanged, you begin to form a connection in order to understand and appreciate the other.
- Connecting with God: Pour out your gratitude, longing, and worry in prayer, and listen for a whisper steering you toward the people and places you can serve.
- Connecting with self: Explore what you have to give and the kind of change that gets you excited.
- Connecting with others: Look around you, opening to old and new friends who may share your interests and desires to help others.
In this step of the Generosity Gameplan process, ask yourself: “What might be holding me back from connected, transformational generosity?”
Exercise: Recognize Your Generosity Gaps
- Go back to your results from the Generosity Checkup. Which one of the Generosity Gaps was most prominent for you?
- Is it the Action Gap, where you’re waiting for the right time to give?
- Is it the Accumulation Gap, where you feel you don’t have enough to offer in a meaningful way?
- Or is it the Gratification Gap, where you’re feeling distant from and disillusioned by your giving?
- Reflect on the times when you’ve experienced your most prominent Generosity Gap. Write down three examples of moments when this Generosity Gap has shown up for you. When have you felt detached, resigned, or calculating in your giving?
Congratulations. Claiming your Generosity Gaps can be challenging, but it’s a crucial step to engaging your generous heart. When you acknowledge your Generosity Gaps, you can begin to close them.
John Stanley