Are you tired of your church?
Do you just want to see it fade away? Or maybe you just want to make sure that God will judge the hypocrites that live there. Here is how you can do it—and every principle is established on Scripture! Some ideas to implement each principle are included. Of course, you might have already applied some of these principles—great! Apply a few more and you can be one of the many who put the last nail on the coffin of their church!
1. Make up a command and tell people that it is found in the Bible.
“Don’t have anything to do with him—he holds to a different idea of the future than we do. The Bible says we can’t have anything to do with those false teachers.”
“It clearly teaches in Scripture that women must have their heads covered all the time. Look it up!”
“Of course it is a sin to drink. You don’t think Jesus drank wine or anything, do you?”
And Jesus said to them, “Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written: ’This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far away from me. But in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.’ Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.” Mark 7:6-8
2. Take something that Jesus or the apostles call sin and make it seem okay in the eyes of the church.
“I sure am glad that I’m only a greedy gossip. I’d hate to be a homosexual.”
“You committed fornication last night? That’s okay! Praise God that he forgives us of all our sins through the cross!”
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.” I Corinthians 6:11-12
3. When you hear a teaching of Jesus, encourage people to ignore it.
“The gospels aren’t for this dispensation. Besides, the Sermon on the Mount is just too difficult to live out.”
“Yes, that’s what Jesus said, but what he really meant is this….”
“Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son.” II John 1:9
4. Begin a rumor about an important member of the congregation.
“Did you hear about Janice? Well, I probably shouldn’t say…. Maybe you should talk to the pastor about it, because—well, I’m really concerned for her soul.”
“It really surprised me to see Bob by the adult book store the other day…”
“I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37
5. Begin a controversy about a petty, unbiblical matter.
To the ultra right-wing in the church, “Can you believe that they allow Trish in the church, even though she voted for both Clinton and Gore?”
“I won’t keep attending this church if they don’t discipline George for refusing to keep Sunday as the Sabbath!”
“Avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. Titus 3:9
6. Encourage everyone to act on their selfish desires.
Pepper your speech with such phrases: “You deserve to baby yourself.” “After all, we’re only human.” “God will forgive you, after all.” “We need to love ourselves first.”
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
7. Discourage the church from doing anything for the needy.
When a ministry to the needy in our country is mentioned: “You don’t want to help those kinds of people. They are ungrateful and lazy. You don’t want to encourage their sin, do you? They just ought to get jobs.”
And when it is suggested to take an offering for a disaster relief: “Don’t help those people! We should take care of our own first!”
And when meeting the needs of a poor family in the congregation is mentioned: “They just need to budget properly! Why don’t we just send them to financial management?”
“Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys.” Luke 12:33
8. Encourage your congregation to ignore people’s sins, even though their sin will destroy and kill them.
(No examples are necessary of this, since so few congregations participate in any kind of discipline for sin.)
“If your brother sins rebuke him.” Luke 17:3
9. Encourage people to avoid suffering at all cost.
“Look, no one deserves to be treated that way. If she gets drunk again, divorce her!”
“Why would you want to go to Africa as a missionary? There’s plenty of people to minister to here.”
“Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22
10. Discourage people from praying about their needs.
“Don’t be so heavenly-minded that you’re no earthly good. Don’t pray about it—do something practical!”
“You shouldn’t bother God with something as insignificant as this.”
“Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.” Luke 11: 9
Maybe you know of some more? Send us your ideas—but make sure that they are biblical!