Parenting God’s Way!
“According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:” 2 Peter 1:3
As a father of a 17 year old boy and a nine year old daughter, I can humbly say that me and my wife have drawn and drawing our resources for all the areas of our lives from His divine power.
If He had not called us by His own glory and goodness, we wouldn’t have been what we are today. We want to give all the glory to God for His timely guidance in the upbringing of our children.
In this article, I would like to share a few very important thoughts with the parents for successful parenting in the light of God’s word The Bible.
God has counted us worthy to become parents and thus, He has honored us with the precious gift of children. Every child born on the face of the earth is created in the divine image of God and each one of them is unique! It’s God’s will for them to be born in their respective homes.
Children are blessings from the Lord
“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127: 3-5
Children are the precious gift and abundant blessings from the Lord to us. The joy and the blessings we receive as parents in child rearing are inexpressible.
The day I held our son Jasher for the first time in my arms is afresh in my mind. It was a joyful and unforgettable experience of life time! Jasher was born on our first anniversary and that makes it more special to us! Jasher and Jennifer are the answers from God to our prayers!
We are so happy and thank God granting us children. It is very important for us to understand and to acknowledge our children as the precious gift and blessings from the Lord.
Children are Responsibility from the Lord
“For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.” Gen 18:19
A deeper study on this verse would reveal to us the plan of salvation, God intended to fulfill through Abraham. God chose Abraham and gave him a responsibility to teach his children and his household as a man of Knowledge.
God wanted Abraham to command his children and family as a man of authority to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice. The promise that was given to Abraham is for all his generation.
Claiming this promise, if every one of us sincerely follow this principles of teaching our family to keep the way of the Lord, our children would surely grow in God’s way and bring glory to His name. When the Christian children grow and multiply in God’s way, God’s promise to Abraham in Genesis chapter 12:3b “and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” would be soon fulfilled.
Sadly, many of us do not understand God’s heart and His promises.
“Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:5
Children are the heritage, a reward and like the arrows in the hands of the warrior. Blessed is the man who brings up the God given children in a Godly way. He shall not be put to shame!
Abortion is “the one thing” that Christians should seriously fear about. Look at the Muslims, they fear abortion. They are growing, multiplying and today they are standing against the Christians as the arrows.
When the Children of Abraham are not serious about the promises of their God, the enemy takes advantage of their weaknesses and becomes strong and stands at their gates.
There are many Christians who are not serious about their marriage and about giving birth to children. They do things as what seems right to them. May the Lord Holy Spirit speak to them and help them to understand what it is to live in obedience to God.
As the stewards of God, taking care of ourselves as God’s children, our marriage, our ministry, our jobs, and our children all things in which we are engaged as Christians are our responsibilities given by God.
The Challenge
Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging task we can ever imagine. Careful study of the word of God will surely help us to be the best parents we can be.
There are many things that can really affect one’s parenting! The different backgrounds of parents, temperament, support system, Church going, influence in the society and friends circle and many more things.
Parenting is a 24*7 challenge. There are no 100% perfect parents or 100% perfect children. As the children grow and develop them as good/ bad, the parents also grow and develop by learning and experience.
Our children open their eyes in our little world. In this little world, whatever we show and teach them becomes the foundation for their lives. We should begin to act with a sense of greater responsibility towards our children. They will become what we have made them.
We need to be Honorable and Respectful for our children to honor us. We are the first role models, heroes and super heroes for them. They will speak, behave and react the way they see their parents doing with each other. Parenting/Child rearing should be done together carefully by the parents.
Parenting should be taken as a serious, tireless and routine job until our children have grown up and they are good enough to take good decisions on their own.
We should sincerely ask God to give us the spirit of discernment to talk and to do the right things at the right time. The present world in which we live with our children is surely not the world in God’s heart for His children. “Go for anything” is the time we live. The language, life style, habits of un-Godly people and the exposure we get from the media are really confusing our children. {Even the parents are confused at times} We do not have radars to determine what is going on inside the children’s hearts and minds.
Every day we should ask for His grace upon us and upon our children as we strive to live as Sheep among the Wolves. The new paths of this generation are terrible. Electronic devices that are available in the hands of our Children have shrunk their world into their palms. Everything what you and me think “bad” is available in their private rooms. Alcoholism, Drugs, improper teachings and the trends on Sex & Sexuality among the younger generations, shows us the dangers of where this generation is heading to.
“This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ Jeremiah 6:16
Yes, Parenting in this generation is a real challenge. If some of us are standing at the cross roads of our lives, not knowing where to go, let us ask for the ancient paths and the good ways the Lord has shown us and start walk in it. You will surely find the rest for your souls and for your children’s souls.
The Practical Suggestions
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
All the best practical suggestions come from God’s word the Bible! I would humbly request the readers to seek God’s face for the right advice you need for your families and for your children. The Almighty God knows the exact situations and needs of your homes. When we seek Him with all diligence, He is gracious and compassionate to answer from His word to all our questions with the best answers we could ever imagine.
As a servant of God, all that I can do is to share my experience with you. May the dear Lord give you what you need while you are reading this!
- 1. Intentional Investment
We should be very careful in counseling our children. We should start injecting the moral values in our children right from their infancy. This can be done through story telling, family prayers, and through all our conversations with them. I would call it Intentional Investment in our children’s life.
Up to five years old, their questions would be of learning new things they see. They would believe and take whatever the answer comes from us. After five, they will start asking questions upon our answers. This gives us the signal that they have started finding reasons on their own.
We should be honest and serious in answering their questions. If they are not satisfied with our answers, they will try to find the answers elsewhere. We should allow our children to come and share with us everything they have in their hearts. Children like to do this. If we try to stop them sharing with us, they will start sharing to those who listen to them.
Our seventeen year old son and nine year old daughter come to us and share all that they spoke and did in school. We do listen to them. We do not rebuke them are correct them on spot. We wait and look for the right opportunity to explain things in the way they can understand. We try our best to instruct them by examples. We try to avoid pointing them directly.
The best way we found is to allow our children to read the Bible portions intentionally selected by us for the Situation. After reading the Bible portion, we ask them to come up with their explanations. Surprisingly, they are good in understanding what they read.
One Chapter of the Proverbs a day or a five to ten verses a day is a very good idea. We can do this every six months. We can pick up a Gospel book and read a small portion every day and study as a family.
“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, and when you lie down and when you get up.”
“ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Believe me! God’s word does amazingly greater things than our own advice and counseling!
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8
- 2. Be Transparent
Most importantly, let our Children see and learn from our own lives. Our lives should be transparent before our children. They need to know what kind of people we are and why we are different from the majority in the world.
“This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.” Job 1:1b
“Righteousness guards the man of integrity, but wickedness overthrows the sinner.” Proverbs 13:6
It is good for them to know:
The income and expenses of the family, our appointments and activities,
Our friend’s Circle, The time we work for the welfare of the family, our giving, our worship, our priorities, and our time with them etc..
We are living to honor God by preserving ourselves as the holy community and to preserve our children and through them the next generation to come. We can lead others to Christ, only if we and our family walk on God’s ways.
Everything was permissible for Apostle Paul. But, He chose only that was beneficial for him. Marriage is permissible. Sex is beneficial only within the institution of Marriage. Our body is the temple of God and the temple is not for the sexual immorality.
“Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything. “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-13
May the Lord help us to understand what is beneficial for us from what is permissible to us? Let our children know how transparent in our moral standards.
“Knowing Him and to make Him known to our children and to the world is our ultimate goal on earth.”
“Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20b-21
- 3. Delegate Responsibilities
It is important to teach children how to participate in the household jobs.
This will teach our children responsibility. The burden of running the whole house should not only be upon one or two family members. All members including children should involve in daily jobs.
According to the Children’s age, delegate some responsibilities. Our seventeen year old son helps us in buying things from the Market, fetching water, Preparing the songs for the Family prayer, House Cleaning, taking his sister to school, arranging his book shelves and ward robes, preparing the bed for his sister and before going to bed he makes sure that the house doors are locked from inside etc..
Our nine year old daughter helps us in arranging the Table and in lifting up the Table, House cleaning, arranging her book shelves and ward robes etc..
We ask our son to read a portion of the Bible to his sister and to explain it. We ask him to share some of the dos and don’ts that he thinks is the best for his sister.
Make your children understand that every one in the home is responsible for everything done in home! For an example; dirtying clothes, dishes, producing garbage and house hold expenses are caused by all the members of the family. So, it’s very important for every one in the family to help one another to run the family in a better way.
Involve the older ones to make the list of all the house hold works and then delegate the responsibilities of each work to each member of the family.
- 4. Teaching with love
It is very important to teach our children some of the very important lessons on attitude and behavior. All the teachings should be done with love and in the right time.
As I had mentioned earlier, most of their habits, attitude and behavior comes from the parents. They carefully watch and listen to the conversations between the parents.
The conversations between the parents are very important, especially if in front of children. Let your conversations be polite and honoring each other.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” Ephesians 4:29
Father and mother should be careful in what they say to their children about one another and about the third parties. This creates the good/bad impressions in children about the people they talk about.
Talk to them about how you miss your parents and siblings; teach them about the importance of relationships and about the blessings in it.
- 5. Regarding Sex & Sexuality
It is better to start teachings on sex and sexuality in the early childhood. We should be open to talk to them if they come up with questions. Talking about sexuality helps children to cope up with different feelings and experiences they face while growing. It helps them to take charge on the relationship issues. This also will certainly help them to protect them from child abusers.
Take time and talk to them about good touches and bad touches. Make them understand in a beautiful way how all the people in the world are born through the family way with in the institution of marriage initiated by God Himself.
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
Parents are best people to talk to children about their sexuality. Parents can help their children feel good about their sexuality from the early age. This would help them to come and talk us when they grow young.
Make them to understand their values as individuals and their family values. Talk to them about the immoral things that go on in the world and help them to see the word of God regarding wild passions. Talk to them about their self confidence and self esteem and help in building these qualities.
”Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.” Romans 1:24-27
Encourage them to take the right decisions and explain what can happen if their actions go wrong. Encourage them to dream about a holy life within the marriage. A well established connection within the family, with like minded friends in school and with church can help them to grow as respective individuals. Encourage them to have personal prayers which will help them to have personal encounters with God to learn directly from Him.
“All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. Isaiah 54:13
The very important thing our children should know is about being faithful within the marriage and out side the marriage. We need to help them realize that they will have to wait and prepare themselves for the family life. Until then, they should be encouraged to protect from the snares of the enemy and from the lust of the flesh.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:14
Our God is a holy God. He wants his children to be holy. When we talk about holiness, our children might ask us whether it is possible to live a holy life or not!
If not, God would not have commanded us to live a holy life.
“Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.” Leviticus 19:2
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18
Our faith in Christ makes us holy and acceptable in the sight of God. If we consistently look unto the Lord with our children, slowly little by little, we will become like Christ. This comes from the Lord Holy Spirit.
Conclusion
Parenting God’s way is the call for all those who are blessed with Children. Parenting is a blessing, Parenting is a responsibility Parenting is a challenge! If we want to see our children growing up as the God fearing adults, we will have to take the steps of faith in action.
Being good for our selves is not enough! Our goodness should be faithfully passed on to our children. “March forward” is not at all a good slogan for the leaders who are engaged in leading others. “Follow me as I follow Christ” is the best slogan for the leaders.
One of the first words Jesus spoke in the beginning of the ministry is “Follow Me” If we consistently follow Jesus and encourage our children to walk on the path we walk, our generations would become righteous and very soon God’s promise to Abraham will be fulfilled.
“I have been young and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.” Psalm 37:25
May the dear Lord richly bless each one of you as you are sincerely engaged in Parenting God’s Way!
In His harvest field, with Him,
{Missionaries of Faith}
M.K. Sheriff Daniel & Jaya Sheriff Daniel