They say that old habits die-hard. And I suppose that’s true.

My wife Charlene and I have always founds ways of connecting with non-believers whether we were serving in the pastorate, church planting in Spain or serving in missions administration (although I have to admit it’s much more difficult these days) During our nine years in Valencia, we spent nearly all our time and energy finding ways to connect with people who did not know Christ.

When we had moved into our new home in Fort Wayne Indiana about ten years ago, we invited our former missionary teammates Mike and Joanne to come by for a BBQ. Joanne was helping Charlene in the kitchen and laughed when she opened our pantry and found a hand-sketched map of our neighborhood taped to the back of the door. On it, we had laid out all the neighbor’s homes and we’d begun filling in the names of those we’d met and were steadily penciling in more names and details week by week. Joanne’s comment was, “Still thinking like missionaries.”

The following are some observations or thoughts regarding strategies for reaching the lost:

GO TO THEM – You must take the initiative. Some have tried to speculate regarding the distance traveled by Jesus during his lifetime and more specifically, during his three years of ministry – some guess 3125 miles. It sounds really strange, but sometimes we can be so busy doing ministry that we don’t ever have a chance to spend time with non-Christians. Even when we were missionaries in Spain it was easy to get busy with missionary stuff and fail to spend time in the community. How pointless is that! We were the only Evangelicals in our community of 38,000 people. Why go all the way overseas, if you’re never going to walk out your front door and meet some people?

DO TALK TO STRANGERS – Ignore with your mother always told you. Learn to do small talk and develop the art of conversation. One of the best books I read before going overseas was titled “How To Work a Room” by Susan RoAne.

Shake hands and introduce yourself by name.

Ask people questions about themselves. We all love to talk about “numero uno”.

At a wedding reception: “So how do you know the bride and groom?”

At a little league game or football match: “So which one is yours?”

At a community gathering: “So have you always lived here?”

Ask people what they think – then listen.

Follow the “golden rule” regarding conversation – “Do unto to others, as you would have them do unto you.”

In the last few years I’ve been conducting my own little social experiment in churches that have a “meet and greet” time during the service. You know what I mean. We all turn around and shake hands with someone in an effort to prove we’re a friendly church.

I’ve found that if I simply offer to shake hands and say “hello”, they’ll probably reciprocate with the same. However, if I shake their hand and say “My names Jeff and this is my wife Charlene.” They’ll respond in similar fashion. 

If you want to know their name, tell them yours. If you want to know what their interests are or what they think, ask. They may follow suit and do the same opening a door for a new friendship to begin.

BE WILLING TO ADAPT – What do they like to do? Are you willing to learn new tricks? What does a “Christian fly-fisher look like, a golfer, ballroom dancer. Jesus fleshed out what God is like in human form. In missions we called that “incarnating the gospel”.

Too often our only contact with the unbelievers when it is on our turf and our terms – attraction model. I have a friend who just gets a kick out of carrying the gospel where “no man has gone before” He told about joining a group of Muslims for prayer at a mosque and having the opportunity to respond to their questions about Christianity. He wondered whether anyone there had ever heard the gospel explained before – well probably not at the mosque!

FIND COMMON GROUND – Look for relational connections. You may not have Jesus in common, but there must be a hundred other things you could have in common.

When I was leader a team in Spain, I often visited the Ministry of Labour to process paperwork. That’s where I met Josue. Josue recognized from my paperwork that I was a Canadian citizen and remarked how much he had enjoyed a visit to Banff, Alberta.My response was,”Isn’t it beautiful” although I’d never actually been there.  I often brought it up as a point of contact. He was a Spaniard who had visited Banff and loved it; I was Canadian – close enough.

REMEMBER THAT NON-BELIEVERS ARE NOT ALL BAD – Now I know that pushes the limits for some of us theologically, but stick with me. Just because they’re not believers, does mean they can’t contribute something meaningful to our relationship. Going deep in relationships comes as a result of sharing and doing life together. Again, its the idea of reciprocity. If you share openly with them and let them participate in your life, they’ll do the same in allowing you to go deep with them relationally.

When we first arrived in Spain, our teammates gave us some initial orientation but then told us we were to go to our neighbors first for any other needs. So our neighbors helped us get our kids registered for public school, told us were to buy groceries, how to prepare them and even taught us Spanish etiquette. Our willingness to be served deepened those relationships much more than our serving them would have. Again in “missionary speak” we refer to this as an important part of “bonding with your host culture”

FORM INTER-CONNECTIONS – With their friends and family, and they with yours. The advantage for you is that your scope in influence expands and you gain credibility. You’re no longer the strange foreign guy that hangs out with their family member. For your new friend, they benefit from getting to know more believers like you and feel like they’re more a part of your life. It is also possible that a friend of yours serves as a better connection to one of your non-Christian friends. Introducing them will allow for that to happen. Sometimes you just can’t be ALL things to all men. But a fellow Christian might be able.

KEEP IT REAL – Let them see what a Christian’s life is really like. Let them see the good and the bad. People are drawn to authenticity. Hypocrisy repels.

ATTACK OBSTACLES TO FAITH THROUGH PRAYER – Ephesians 6:12 tells us, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” We need to be alert to the spiritual strongholds and barriers to faith whether physical, social or spiritual and address them in prayer. 

POINT THEM TO JESUS – not the church or church going, other believers, authors, speakers…

Here is an approach I’ve used in introducing people to Jesus and it is by reading the Gospel of John together. 

Here’s how it works: 

-    Invitation is to “read the Bible together” rather than join a Bible Study. People are suspicious of Bible Studies, especially if there’s a commitment to a certain number of weeks or months.

-    Pray in advance for the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of the reader’s heart and mind to encounter Jesus in what is read. Only after the first few meetings should you introduce the idea of praying for God to shed light on what is being read.

-    No schedule is presented; the invitation to continue comes only at the completion of the first session. ie. “How was that? Would you like to try it again some time?”

-    Gospel of John is the only portion of the Bible read together and is introduced as being a “common man’s” perspective on Jesus’ life, personhood and ministry. It seems everyone finds them self in John at some point.

-    The version of the Bible used is at the participant’s discretion. In Spain we used the Jerusalem Bible. Evangelical Bibles were considered suspect.

-    Reading is punctuated with inductive questions and discussion (ie. Who is John referring to? What does it say about who Jesus is? What does the writer want us to understand about Jesus? How is Jesus unique in comparison to other teachers and prophets? Who do you think Jesus is?)

-    Invitation may be for one person or more to participate, but three or less is preferable. Fewer people keeps it relational and avoids the appearance of being a Bible Study.

-    Don’t force a point. Let the participant draw his or her own conclusions. I often have people that come up with some amazing observations. I just tell them, “That’s interesting. I’ve that passage many times and never came to that conclusion. Hmmm. Well, let’s move on!” There’s plenty of truth between the covers of the Bible. Let the Holy Spirit speak to them through his Word.

-    Pray, pray, pray.

Here are some of the advantages with this approach:

-    The reader comes to the understanding that to know about God, you need to read the Bible, as opposed to attending a meeting or listening to a particular preacher.

-    The conclusions arrived at have been the reader’s own and not those of someone else.

-    By the time the reader comes to faith, weeks or months of discipleship have already begun, and continuing in the same vein is easy.

-    The value of relationship (fellowship) has become obvious to the reader through the process that has taken place.

-    The new believer has already learned how to lead others to faith in Christ and can begin immediately by inviting others to read the Bible together.

What does it cost? $0.00

I’d love to hear from others and what there experience has been. 

Jeff Bleijerveld

August 2010