The Lausanne Global Conversation is on the World Wide Open Network
Autor: WordTruth authors
Data: 31.01.2012
Category: Testemunho Pessoal, Social Justice, Formação de Líderes
Forgiveness is, literally, at the heart of Christianity. Its meaning is not difficult to understand, but “to forgive” as a way of life is not something one does naturally. It is not based on feelings but, instead, involves a choice that is, basically, a matter of the will.
Palavras-chave: forgive, forgiveness, mercy, love, sacrifice, disciples, discipleship, leaders, church, witness, reconciliation
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Comentários: 39
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Alot of people put forgiveness and forgetting in the same boat and I don’t believe they are. I believe that we are to forgive but not necessarly forget right away. God helps us forget the mishaps.
08.07.2012
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@ tswood:
I agree with you. Forgiveness is a choice we make. However, it is extremely difficult to force yourself to forget. Where we get stuck is if remembering truly prevents us from forgiving. If by not forgetting we are holding a grudge, then I don’t feel that that is true forgivness. But sometimes remembering can be helpful. If we remember the ways that a person has a tendency to hurt us, we can avoid allowing for those ways, making it better for us and them.
17.04.2013
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@ skh718:
I really like your perspective on forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice, but I don’t know if we ever truly forget the circumstance where we are hurt. Over time I think we learn to look past it, but certain circumstances may bring up the memory. I have found that sometimes hurtful circumstances from our past are able to be used by God to help someone else that is struggling through a similar difficulty. We can relate to them and help the individual in need. When we forgive someone it is as if a weight is lifted off of ourselves.
26.04.2013
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@ mgabrielle:
You are so right. Our suffering has purpose in uplifting God’s kingdom. Forgiveness is a choice, it the choice of trusting God to heal our hurts and apply justice and loving forgiveness to those who have wronged us.
26.04.2013
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Rendering forgiveness is always necessary if we are to ask forgiveness from God.
Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
05.04.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
You are correct J_Ruth, we tend to think God’s forgiveness is like an unlimited bank account and we can make withdrawals whenever we wish without giving consideration to how deposits are handled. In the same chapter you quoted, in the midst of the "Our Father," there is this statement: "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." I think that a lot of times we run over that so fast we don’t realize what all we might be saying. The tendency is to think, Okay God, You do Your part and then I will do mine. But that is not what it says. It says for God to forgive us AS we forgive. In other words, if I forgive spuratically, or am insincere, or do it begrudgingly, I am asking God to forgive me in the same way. Now, that is not the kind of forgiveness any of us want from God, but that is how we tend to express our forgiveness towards others. We SAY we forgive, but we do not actually commit the act of forgiving. And thus, we are telling God to SAY He forgives us without actually committing the act. So yes...how we render our forgiveness is absolutely necessary to gain the forgiveness of God.
12.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
I agree with what you said. We want God to forgive us for everything and then we limit or choose how we will forgive others. To withold forgiveness, one might think that we are hurting the other person when in actuality we are hurting ourselves. When we fully embrace forgiveness we experience personal growth. There is a release involved as we let go of the negativity that stifles our walk with God.
14.04.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
You touched on a very important aspect of withholding forgiveness. Where did we get the idea that if withhold forgiveness that it hurts the person we are refusing to forgive? Forgiveness is personal. It sometimes may have nothing to do with the person we need to forgive. Sometimes, it has everything to do with us. What many Christians fail to realize is how withholding forgiveness starts the burden of carrying a grudge. When forgiveness is refused to be given, there is something deep within that begins to develop much like an ulcer. The longer it goes untreated or ignored, the worse the problem will get. Christians will be carrying around grudges from 20 years ago due to unforgiveness, and yet wonder why they feel so defeated. Fact is, until they forgive, they are defeated. Their Christian witness is voided. Not that it happens in all cases, but many times Christians will find themselves fighting some major health issues that the doctors cannot explain the origins of nor find answers to, and it turns out it all stems from an incident in their past where they refused to forgive someone, and carrying that grudge has literally made them sick. All the commands to forgive say nothing about anyone being commanded to accept forgiveness, but to offer forgiveness. Just as with the forgiveness of God, accepting it is optional, and many will refuse it. But Christ went to the cross because God chose to offer forgiveness to everyone regardless of whether they accepted it or not. Our forgiveness can be no different, especially when we name the name of Christ as our Lord and Saviour.
15.04.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
J. Ruth,
Thank you for your post and for including the scripture in Matthew that points us to the way of Christ and how we as Christians are supposed to treat others. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do when we as humans feel that we have been wronged by someone. I think it’s even harder to ask for forgiveness when we are the one who has done someone else wrong. However, as Matthew so pointedly said, if we are to be forgiven by God then we also have to be willing to forgive those who sin against us.
16.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
Amen!!! Thank you modell66 for your posting. It reminds me of a church billboard I saw this week, "Don’t just go to church, BE the church." Just like you and J Ruth said, we tend to go to church and read our Bibles but somehow just skim over the parts about forgiveness and how we are to treat our fellow Christians. We need to stop "going" to church and we need to start "being" the church. That means actually living out what we say we are. When we are down and trodden, as James Earl Massey said, "when you must wait on God, don’t lose your faith; use your faith!"
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ J_Ruth:
J Ruth, I agree with what you said about how we look at withholding forgiveness as something we are doing to harm someone else and almost enjoying it. However, as you and model66 pointed out, we in fact are the ones who are being harmed. Many times the person we are withholding forgiveness to doesn’t even know that we are doing so. We are the ones who are remembering the wrong done to us while the other person is going on with their lives unaware of the grudge or burden that we have chosen to carry. We need to wake up and live as Christians and actually take the word of God to heart and not only read it but live it out LOUD!
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ Graeper:
Graeper, I think it comes down to familiarity, especially for those of us in western congregations. Many of us are brought up in church, we memorize the "Our Father," we are taught about forgiveness, we hear it from Sunday School teachers and Pastors on a regular basis, that after several years we become numb to what it really means. Most of what we are taught as children have to do with asking for forgiveness instead of knowing how to forgive. It is no surprise, for children are always getting into stuff, taught to obey their parents, and so forgiveness is often relegated to being something they seek rather than something they offer. And that is brought into our adulthood. We may seek forgiveness from others and may do it quite well. But when it comes to offering forgiveness, not so good.
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ J_Ruth:
If you think you know what forgiveness is all about then paste this link into your browser and watch the power of forgiveness in action. HTTP://www.cbsnews.com/2100-18563_162-20069849.html or Google "Woman forgives Sons Killer" Many times we think that when we forgive we only have to have a change of heart and the rest lies with God. But when we truly forgive, when we truly allow the Holy Spirit to work through us we will be compelled to act. And when we do act the power of God will be released in such as mighty way that we will shed tears in awe of God’s love. Use this clip to teach others about forgiveness because this clip shows the power and magnitude of forgiveness that we, when we are trapped in our own personal situation can never imagine!
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ zephora_waiters:
zephora, I have seen this video before. I lost my sister back in 1990 as a result of an automobile accident where her boyfriend was the driver. Both my sister and her boyfriend died instantly. I have often wondered if I would have been able to forgive him if he had lived and she had not. However, since they both died I will never know. I guess in a sense I have forgiven Allen because I no longer harbor deep anger at him for the car accident. I can think about him and my sister and know that there is a sense of peace for me knowing that they both died together. That has not always been the case. Forgiveness is awfully hard especially when a loved one dies as a result of someone else’s reactions or doings.
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ modelk66:
model66, It saddens me to think that we have become so numb that actually practicing forgiveness is a foreign act for us. It is true like you said that we hear it so much growing up that we just seem to tune out what it really means. It gets to the point where all we hear is the buzz instead of what the actually meaning is of what we are saying and being told in church. I hope that I can challenge myself and my kids to keep ourselves deligent to hear God’s voice and to recognize when I need to offer forgiveness.
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ zephora_waiters:
Zephora, I appreciate the link. However, I am not sure any of us really know what forgiveness is, not even the woman in the story. We know some terminology and we know a few acts we need to do, but I think forgiveness is bigger than us. I believe it is tied to our faith and trust in God. I have no idea how forgiveness really works. I just know I am supposed to offer it and ask for it. There is a whole other dimension to forgiveness that I am not sure our feeble minds can really comprehend. Being able to forgive someone as the woman in the story did takes something supernatural that I am not even sure she really understands. It was not her ability to forgive, but her availibility to be willing to offer it. I think that is one possible stumbling block for many people to not offer forgiveness. They do not fully understand it, so they are not willing to offer it. Many times God will ask or impress upon us to do something without a full knowledge or understanding. I believe forgiveness is one of those things. Its the ability to say to God "I do not know or understand how to do this, but I will offer it the best I know how and trust You with the results." And many times that is more important and more beneficial to the one offering than to the one receiving. Kind of reminds me of the principle "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Just as in the story. The focus is not on the young man’s reception of the forgiveness, but on the woman’s availability to offer it.
17.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
model66, I agree with your post to a point. I do think that we understand forgivemess especially when it is given to someone who has taken a life from us. We may not always understand how we were or are able to forgive such an ill act, but I do think we have the capacity to understand. As you stated, that is where our faith in God takes over our lives to be able to forgive when the world says we shouldn’t. It’s when we give God all our burdens and heartaches and we truly trust Him with it all.
17.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ Graeper:
I am so sorry that you lost your sister. Unexpected tragedy is so hard to bear. I know that the woman in the video reached this level of absolute forgiveness by allowing the Holy Spirit to work through her. There are so many things in our lives that we try to get through on our own and forgiveness is one of them. When we alone forgive someone it soothes our spirit and keeps us connected to God, but when we allow God to show us true forgiveness, we see the entire situation through God’s eyes with the new vision of the Holy Spirit. With the vision of the Holy Spirit you see God’s love for that person; you see that person’s past hurts and present suffering; you understand their need for God in their lives. We cannot see that on our own. I imagine that had your sister’s boyfriend survived he would have been crushed by the responsibility of causing her death because only those who are truly hateful would not be emotionally damaged at taking a life. If you are not sure if your forgiveness is total, mediate with God and allow the Holy Spirit to bring you total forgiveness. The woman it that video showed me the power of salvation in forgiveness that I did not know existed.
23.04.2012
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@ Graeper:
Amen and amen. We are the only Bible some people will "read." Our lives hsould be holy examples.
25.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
I agree. I do not think we really know what forgiveness is. How can we understand something that benefits the one giving it more than the one receiving it? We also cannot truly understand forgiveness because we do not know unconditional love as God applies love. We apply conditions to our relationships saying “I don’t love him because he did this, or that” which becomes “I cannot forgive him because he did this or that”. God does not apply conditions and that is why we must allow the Holy Spirit to help us with forgiveness and all of our relationships. All healing is spiritual healing. When we turn our hurts, hates, abuses over to God, there is a healing component to forgiveness that God knows we need and God will help us achieve. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
25.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
Food for thought...perhaps forgive us our debts AS we forgive our debtors, where the AS refers to WITH meaning God forgive us, as we WITH YOU GOD, WITH THE POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT are able to forgive others. I truly believe that we cannot completely forgive without God’s help. Forgiveness representa a spiritual healing that only God can achieve.
30.04.2012
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@ Graeper:
Very true Graeper. Church is not a "place" it is a "people." It is not somewhere to go, but something to be. And we truly are the church when we forgive as our Lord forgives. Many things in this fallen world are unfair and painful, and many people in this fallen world use and abuse others in ways many find unthinkable and unimagineable. It is easy - even as a Child of the living God - to withhold forgiveness with a justification that the other person does not deserve our forgiveness after what they have done or how they have mistreated or hurt us. The hard part is to realize that we are only the church when we forgive as Christ forgives. We are not perfect, but even that is no excuse to withhold forgiveness. Jesus may have been angry when He cleared the temple, but there is no doubt in my mind that if - and they may have - one of those pharisees came to Jesus later and admitted their wrongdoing and sought forgiveness from Him He would gladly have offered it to them. Jesus knew what Judas was up to, and yet Jesus never had him expelled from the group nor called him out. Jesus just continued to love him and continued to make forgiveness available should Judas have sought it ought. Even when the soldiers were beating Him bloody and mocking Him, Jesus still had the offer of forgiveness if they would only accept it. Even at the point of crucifixion, the first words Jesus uttered from the cross was to ask God to forgive those who were having Him crucified. And to think, that is our pattern. My forgiveness is to be offered and available regardless of what anyone says or does to me. And that is tough. It goes against everything we know as humans. It doesn’t make sense to us.
24.05.2012
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@ modelk66:
We ourselves do not deserve forgiveness but Jesus gave it to us anyway because it was necessary for our salvation. We must forgive anyway because it is necessary for our salvation.
25.05.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
You are correct, its in the Word. To pray to God and haven’t forgiven, is pointless. Forgiveness comes first.
08.07.2012
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The concept of forgiveness is difficult to fully embrace for so many especially when there is so much to forgive. Some people wade in the deep waters of unresolved hurt for the balance of their lives. Oddly, they are Christians who discover it lurking dormant within. The resurfacing of the pain comes when a familiar idea, place, or person emerges unannounced. Resembling a dark memory conveniently tucked away, the thought of forgiveness is superimposed by the heaviness of days and years gone by. I spoke with an individual not long ago who was sexually abused by her step-father since she was three years old. She finds it a struggle at age 44 to nuture relationships that involve men. The battle to accept life unmarried and all alone becomes more and more a reality. She serves in a ministry where she is surrounded by men and by her step-father who is now her senior pastor.
18.04.2012
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@ tgraham:
Tgraham, you are so right about the concept of forgiveness being hard for some to fully embrace. There is a lot of hurt, pain, and difficulty in this world, and some of it is so horrible some of us cannot even fathom how difficult, painful, or hurtful those scenarios can be. Some things are just so inconceivable as to how someone could even do such horrible things. The story you told is one of those. It would seem she has found some measure of forgiveness towards her step-father, otherwise how could she even attend the same church with him, much less minister with him as her pastor. For some of us, even if her forgiveness is limited, she has more forgiveness towards him than many of us do. Some of us would have been clamoring to have him meet justice for his acts in some other horrible acts, maybe even trying to get the death penalty for him. Instead, she has chosen to extend a measure of forgiveness that boggles the human mind and confounds the conventional wisdom of the world. Is she fully healed and restored as a person - no. But, she has done more in the arena of forgiveness than many of us who are just standing on the sidelines as on-lookers are willing to offer. Many a church or Christian organization would refuse to allow him to even sit in their pews on Sunday or attend their meetings. He would be banned from many a place of Christian faith. Yet, she serves beside him. It would be interesting to know how much his current church knows of his history. That might be more telling of Christian forgiveness if they have full knowledge of his past than just her story alone. It might also be more telling of Christian forgiveness if they have no knowledge of his past but were to find it out.
This gets to another aspect of forgiveness. Its not just offering forgiveness for deeds done between individuals, but offering forgiveness as an entire body of believers. Most Christians will hold to the stance that there is only on unpardonable sin, and that is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Everything else - we claim - can be forgiven by God. Yet, in many of our congregations and organizations, the forgiveness of God is hard to see. Many divorced and remarried persons come into the congregation expecting to find love, healing, support, and forgiveness, only to find rejection, disdain, and humiliation. What they have done is a sin - and I am one of those. But it is no more a sin than a deacon who runs a crooked business by lying and cheating both customers and vendors. Both are forgivable by God, but bring it in the congregation and it is a different story. The hot button issue for many a congregation today will be homosexuality. From what little Scripture seems to say about it, it appears to be a sin. If so, it is forgivable by God. But we have entire Christian organizations who have statements that to continue to participate in their organization, a congregation cannot allow for a homosexual to even come and sit in their midst. Some congregations will even have the ushers to turn them away before they even enter the doors of the congregation. A person can commit the most horrific murder the world has ever seen, but allow him/her to be "saved" in prison, serve their time, and they are welcome in a congregation with open arms and can even become the pastor. But anyone else who has a history of divorce or homosexuality or prostitution is almost turned away from the door with no regard to find out if they have been converted or not. As congregations, we make judgments on who gets forgiveness and who doesn’t. Thing is, it’s not up to us to make that judgment. We are to offer forgiveness to anyone. If we refuse people from even entering our midst, how will they truly hear the Gospel - the Good News - of Jesus Christ? They will be so guarded and hurt from their experience they will turn a deaf ear to anyone who does try to offer them forgiveness and does try to share the Gospel of Christ with them. The Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) offered forgiveness to the African-American population in the United States in 1995 for its involvement in history for promoting slavery and mistreating many a person of color. However, there is many a white SBC congregation - in the southern US - that absolutely will refuse to have a person of color come in and sit with them for a worship service. And what a person experiences from that congregation will determine that person’s mindset about that congregation, the SBC, Christianity at large, and even God Almighty. Personal forgiveness is a hard battle and struggle that will indeed continue as long as there are humans. But corporate forgiveness is an even bigger struggle, and one in which many a congregation and organization must endeavor with purpose to get right. Bottom line is this - can/does God forgive it? If we are God’s followers, we must also.
20.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
Modelk66, I am thoroughly convinced that this sister is strong and mighty in God. There is no way she could demonstrate the courage to look past her step-father’s faults and see his needs in the ministry. If it were me, I don’t know if I could serve under his ministry considering the damage and the hurt he has inflicted. But, God requires us to forgive unconditionally. I believe that the expression of godly love, which is agape love can allow us to press through any trial, and, stand through any test.
23.04.2012
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@ tgraham:
Tgraham, I would agree that only through agape love could she or anyone else really forgive to the extent that she can work with him in ministry. I would also agree that it would be very few of us who could do what she has done. We might could offer forgiveness, but to work alongside of him after all of the pain and suffering, I am not sure there are many who could take it to that step.
Again, I would love to know the congregation’s amount of knowledge concerning his past. If they know nothing then they are just another congregation with a pastor. If they do know all of his past, then what an awesome corporate expression of agape love and forgiveness. If they know his past and her past and know how they both were involved with each other, then that congregation is one of the most unique congregations I have ever had knowledge of, for theit expression of love and forgiveness surpass any that I have ever heard of. What a congregation if this is indeed the case!!
24.04.2012
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@ tgraham:
You are so right. One needs to deal with past hurts in order to forgive. Otherwise, when we come in contact with the "offender" or find ourselves in a similar situation we will become defensive. That old hurt will flair up because we never allowed ourselves to heal. It reminds me of times when we were children and would scrape our knee. something in us would make us scratch the surface off time and time again which delayed our healing.
In order to move forward, we need to look at the reality of the situation. What could we have done differently? How could we have responnded differently? Have I handled this situation in the best manner? There is an opportunity for a great deal of soul-searching.
25.04.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
We overlook the healing aspect of forgiveness. All hurts and abuses require spiritual healing for the healing process to be complete. When we allow God to work through us and the Holy Spirit to care for us by healing our wounds, the Holy Spirit will compel us to seek forgiveness for ourselves and others so that we will be completely healed.
Yor metaphor of the skinned knee is so appropriate because the hardest form of forgiveness for many people is self forgiveness. Without self forgiveness it is like you constantly picking the scab off of a healing cut and delaying your healing.
25.04.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
J Ruth, you’re right on it. We need to be able to release our hurt. There are folks who are carrying burdens that are 30-40 years old that is attached to someone that is long gone. The strongholds of unforgiveness must be cast down and the yoke of revenge must be broken. We are God’s people, and, therefore we should have His peace! Greater is He that is within us than he that is in the world.
29.04.2012
Estados Unidos
I can agree with this statement because I fully believe that forgiveness is a choice that we all have the will to do. There are many instances in the Bible where God forgave His people. Who are we not to forgive someone else for a perceived wrong? I’m not saying that forgiveness is always easy but as Christians I do believe that we are charged to forgive as the Father also forgave us of our many sins and wrong doings.
06.02.2012
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@ Graeper:
I concur with you. Forgiveness is what sets us apart as Christians and Christianity as a whole. It is also against our human nature to do so. While we may be Christians, we are not perfect. I think sometimes people will decide that someone is not a Christian simply because they did not offer the forgiveness they think a Christian is supposed to. I don’t think we caan use forgiveness soley as a "fruit inspection" to determine someone’s Christian-ness...if that’s a word...lol...However, not being perfect is also no excuse to not be forgiving. And sometimes, those that are non-Christian are more forgiving than we who claim to be Christians are. As the article starts out, forgiveness is a choice and a matter of will. Will I make the choice? That is the question.
02.03.2012
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@ modelk66:
Thank you for your response. Since my last response to this posting about forgiveness, I have had the chance to speak with a fellow student about his need to forgive a family member for years of different types of abuses. I realized in my conversation with this young person that time really can help to heal wounds. I also am starting to understand that some folks may never come to the point of being able to forgive some folks who have wronged us. For me, I believe that the day that I forgave a family member for wrongs done to me growing up was the day that God gave me freedom from what was weighing me down from being able to serve Him wholly. My prayer for my friend is that he will also get to experience this freedom one day.
11.03.2012
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@ Graeper:
Yes...forgiveness is hard. Especially with some of the horrible things people have done. We have a lady in our church in her 70’s whose dad was murdered when she was young. She has mentioned on occasion that she just cannot bring herself to forgive the murderer. I do not doubt her being a Christian. It just shows that some things are so horrible and traumatizing that forgiveness becomes so elusive for some. Yes, it is a choice to forgive. But we have to be in a position where we can think - not the best word - clearly so that we can even consider our options. And for some, forgiveness becomes the hardest thing in life to even consider. I hope your classmate is able get to that point where forgiveness is a viable option. I am also glad to hear that you reached that point as well. Through forgiveness, we truly become free, whether the forgiveness is reciprocated or not.
12.03.2012
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@ Graeper:
Your thought is so key...freedom. We are released from the weight that keeps us from attaining new heights in Christ. No, we are not perfect, but we are seeking perfection.
14.04.2012
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@ J_Ruth:
Your comment reminded me of Paul’s writing to "lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily besets us." Seldom does a Christian consider unforgiveness a "weight" or a sin. We forget the simple command of the Golden Rule to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Unforgiveness is a burden that will hinder our progress, alter our relationship with God, and discredit our Christian witness with our fellow man. It will indeed put us in bondage, even though we claim to be free in Christ. "The truth shall set you free." The truth a lot of Christians need is the fact that they need to extend forgiveness to others and themselves.
15.04.2012
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@ modelk66:
model66,
I agree with your statement about unforgiveness being a weight that many Christians carry around and don’t even realize that it is weighing them down. I know I carried my own weight as a young adult until I was in a service as a summer missionary and realized that God was demanding of me that I forgive my mom for some things that had happened in my growing up years. It wasn’t easy for me to pick up that phone and call her and offer forgiveness. In fact, her reply to me was that she had done nothing wrong because look at how I was turning out. I had to let all of that go when I hung up the phone that night. I remember feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. As either you or J Ruth said, it’s not about the other person acceptance of the forgiveness but it is about our willingness to offer the forgiveness.
16.04.2012
Estados Unidos
@ modelk66:
As you shared modell66, forgiveness is a freedom from bondage. What a wonderful freedom it is too when we realize that we have allowed an unforgiving act to hold us down for so long and then we have finally given it all to God to release us from that bondage. I read a book once by Max Lucado, "Traveling Light." He talks about how we carry baggage or extra suitcases with us that are really not ours to carry. So, we need to picture ourselves as being able to unload those suitcases one at a time and leave them at the door. Once we can visualize ourselves dropping those suitcases or "weights" then we can start visualizing the freedom that offering forgiveness can give us.
16.04.2012
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