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Online Romance and the Diaspora connection

Author: Sadiri Joy Tira
Date: 14.10.2010
Category: Media and Communications, Diasporas

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Originally Posted in English

Thirty-six years ago when my wife and I were young and still dating, we were physically separated for two years because of our job assignments -- we were both pursuing our own careers as engineer and nurse respectively.  We did not have the communication gadgets that young lovers have today.  Our telephone calls were very rare because overseas long-distance would have consumed our monthly salaries!  There were also no fax machines and certainly no personal computers.  So how did we communicate?  Via long hand, stamps, brown envelops, via the telegram --- the old Morse code!

Amazing!  Today, lovers write each other via emails, call each other via Skype, see each other via the web-cam, and even have “real time” contact with twitter and facebook!  

Today, we even see cyber dating!  Spouse to find by e-mail!  I wonder how many lonely (or busy!) men and women are dating in our cyber world?  I imagine millions!  Thousands of these cyber dates have resulted in actual marriage!  Thanks to technological advances in communication and travel.

As an example, in December 2009, Minda Cabilao-Valencia, Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO)) deputy executive director, was quoted saying “an average of 24,000 Filipinos leave the country annually to get married abroad… 20 percent admitted meeting their future spouses through the Internet…  Internet has become a common mode of meeting a foreign spouse since the start of 2000…”[1]

Some of these lovers are actually religious people.  When they do migrate to join their loved one, their culture and religion travels with them.

So what are some of the missiological implications?  Let me suggest two.

1. If one is a "Christian" he/she will likely influence the other or vise versa, depending on who is dominant and who is nominal.  The Christian then can be an agent of change, and will lead the other spouse to his or her side of faith.  Their children will also likely be influenced by the dominant partner.  Thus infusing faith into the new family that is most of the time cross-cultural." 

2. The receiving community of Believers should be on the look out for such cross-cultural marriages that developed in cyberspace.  Counseling, cultural orientation, and hospitality must be extended to the couple and family.

Having said all this, I must clarify.  In no way am I advocating the practice of "missionary dating" (although I have heard reports of some religious people who are using online dating and marriage as a strategy for proselytising).  I would not endorse Christians dating online (or "on site" for that matter) with the purpose of conversion.  What I would like to draw attention to is the fact that people are, in these times, dating online; that many of these people are "religious", some are even professing Christians; and that some of these online romances lead to marriage and migration.  My point is that churches should be intentional and strategic at reaching out to these couples as they have specific needs.  

Keywords: marriage, diaspora missions, internet, online dating

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Reply Flag 0 Thumbs Up Thumbs Down friar58 (1)
United States

Very interesting topic.  I would love to see data 10 years from now that give statistics on the number of phone marriages and the resulting cultural influence.  It is an very interesting phenomenon that the church should be aware of so they can properly deal with the topic and provide appropriate guidance.


11.04.2011
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Reply Flag 0 Thumbs Up Thumbs Down jstamps (0)
South Africa

Interesting phenomenon and a good take on it.  So often we think about internet dating as being successful because, well, you have everyone, looking for the same thing, in the same place. If the success could be a tool in evangelization then we have very different possibilities. Unfortunately, given the dismal statistics of my friends, both locally and in US, who have dated or married a non-Christians I’m not totally convinced this should become the norm. Equally yoked should still be the priority.  


18.10.2010

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PhContributeBy Sadiri ’Joy’ Tira 
 
Location: Edmonton
Country: Canada

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